AMSTERDAM
Dear Mies and Toon
Very little news the last few days. Fighting has started up again in Arnhem. The Germans have sent their best officers to defend it. Last night, Oct 7th, at about 8.30 pm. we were suddenly plunged into darkness, there was no electricity. We had to manage as best we could with candles. You can imagine what a consternation this caused, in a home like ours, with 300 people, most of them very old, and failing in health, and many of them invalids. The electricity was restored by 11.30 pm. Today all was well, but tomorrow Oct 9th, we will be without it all day, and so in the evening we will have to retire with the birds at dusk. Last night we were in the middle of a game of bridge when the lights went out, but we were able to carry on playing with the candles until 10.30pm. We are not allowing ourselves to lose courage so easily. To-morrow there will be no trams running, so people will have to do their journeys on foot.
The warehouses belonging to Simon de Wit and Albert Hein (grocers), have been taken over and an embargo placed upon them. Our stores of flour have been seized and it is likely that in 14 days time there won't be any bread left either. Our bread ration has been reduced again. The gas is only on 2 1/2 hours per day, when all the cooking has to be done. Very soon there won't be any food, gas or electricity. There is also practically no salt available anymore. God help us, because our need is great. People say because this situation is so desperate, salvation is close at hand, but then it must come soon. If the Germans are crossed in anyway, then they take their revenge on the whole population by confiscating property and capital, and even executions. Yes, Mies and Toon, we are going through very bad times, but I have complete faith in God, and in the English and Americans. Everywhere people are praying out loud for help and assistance, and for relief from the dangers. People who have never prayed before are now praying out of fear of what might happen to them. I am not receiving my money anymore, and so cannot pay the rent here, but they will not turn me out; this home is built on LOVE. If I did not have my Faith, I would be quite desperate, fortunately I am not that, and am even able to help others to keep Faith. Yes, Mies, I learnt that from you. As soon as I hear more news I shall write to you. Luckily I am in good health, only my eyes are a bit troublesome. The Doctor says it is due to nerves.
October 15th
We have had no electricity at all since last Tuesday; everybody has a candle. It is dreadfully worrying to think that a home of this size is completely without light. An accident is inevitable. Last night at 10.30pm, one of the residents stood in the pitch dark at the top of a stone staircase calling out for assistance, she could have fallen from top to bottom and there will surely be some who will fall. We all sit around in our Winter coats because we have no heating and as there is no electricity we have our evening meal at 5pm now, when it is still just daylight. But after a week or so , we will have to eat by candle light (one candle), and then what - to bed (at least one can be warm there), you see there are not enough candles for us to be able to stay up the whole evening; especially as no-one knows how long all this will go on for. Each day I go out as often as I can to get warm, and then I keep my winter coat on, and stick my feet in my foot-warmer. We cannot send anything to be washed anymore; no-body takes washing in, as there is no soap to be had. To do it oneself is not possible either, as there is no hot water due to lack of coal. And thus the Dutch are sitting in suspense, wondering if they will be liberated from these thugs.
One large building (St Elizabeth, where Tante Jo was), was evacuated; all the patients and residents, as well as the Nuns, had to move out within three days to the Doelen Hotel. There is a rumour going around that Amsterdam is going to be flooded, that they are going to open the flood gates. where would we go then? Although we who live on the upper floors will be alright, it is the ground floor people who will be affected.
In Utrecht there were some young families who refused to obey German orders to dig trenches, so they were tied by their necks to a car, which was driven off. They were all killed. There were others who also refused, so about 20 men were picked up at random in the street, stood up against a wall and shot. For that, in Appeldoorn, they specially took priests, doctors and other professional people. We are a people "Crying to Heaven".
This week, all gas supplies will cease, and everyone without exception, must get their food from central kitchens. but all that is nothing, if only we could be rid of those vermin, for our Country we will always have something left to give. Even when we are liberated, our boys and men will still have to fight Germany and Japan.
How is it with your boys at the moment? Hans and Ronny? And Toon, won't he also be called up? You are never out of my thoughts, and daily I pray earnestly, that God will spare you from harm. we were used to going to Mass every day here , and receiving Holy Communion, but now, since a few weeks, we only receive half the Communion Host, and probably eventually it will have to be quartered. This is because those brutes have seized all our flour.
Do not think I spend all day complaining and moaning, not a bit of it, it is just that I want to tell you all that is happening here. Underground priests come here one after the other to say Mass for us in secret. We are not allowed to know who they are or where they have come from. Occasionally they stay overnight, and then secretly slip away, and disappear again.
Now dear Mies and Toon, yet another full page. all the best to you and to the children and grandchildren. A big kiss for everyone from
your loving mother.
